THE DAILY FUNNIES - Pg 7 - FRIDAY

HERE WE ARE...ALMOST FRIDAY...

ENJOY...

And enjoy the weekend.

Monday ain't far behind. URGH!

========================================================================

Sitting quietly on a Thursday evening...
tired and stressed...

And wanting NOTHING MORE than to get to 
the weekend...

where you can shop til you drop, 
party hearty, and spend the ENTIRE TIME 
 making merry after which you drop into 
a dead faint and vegetate until 
Monday arrives...

BUT...you need something to get you there.

Something that will act as a bridge 
to the FUN...

Oh wait...

We have FOUND IT!

YES!

It DOES EXIST!

IT'S CALLED...FRIDAY.

FRIDAY is where you consider calling in uninterested, but don't for fear of 
losing the job that pays you the money you need...

FOR THE WEEKEND...

FRIDAY is the day you go in, 
but aren't all there...

if you know what I mean...

cause ALL YOU CAN FOCUS ON IS...

the weekend.

FRIDAY IS TO FOREPLAY WHAT 

MONDAY IS TO AFTERMATH.

You fidget, you sneak naps whenever possible, 

you are more HANGING OUT than working or studying.

YES...IT'S...ALMOST....11am...GEEZ...
and you try to sneak over to the clock 
and work a little FAST FORWARD...

but people keep watching and you HATE THEM...

and would kill them for a chance...but...

Then it's FINALLY LUNCH...
when you begin to get a bit more excited 
about the day passing quickly...
alhough it's only 11:30am and 
FRIDAY AFTERNOONS are NOTORIOUS. 
 Urgh...

You alternate between EXCITEMENT, 
and deep depression. 

Your mind tends to wander all over the place and...what?

What?

Someone said something but you 
can't quite make it out...

They are on another planet and you aren't 
and it's all just SOOO meaningless 
cause this is FRIDAY...

and you are already MENTALLY...

INTO THE WEEKEND...

The minutes tick off LOUDLY like HOURS, 
and the HOURS tick off EVEN LOUDER 
like DAYS...WEEKS...MONTHS...

until you think you will go MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

Your boss wants stuff done and you 
don't give a shit.

NOOO...THAT'S ALL JUST CRAP...
and SOO unfair cause 

it's FRIDAY.

NOBODY should have to WORK...
on FRIDAY...

NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT....

Whine

But he/she/IT isn't amused 
and you are STUCK 
and NOT HAPPY...
and pouting and...

Watching the clock as if you were 
a bomb expert working on a doozy, 
and EVERY LITTLE MOVE 
might suddenly hurtle you 

into THE GREAT BEYOND...

or the weekend...HAH!

I WANNA GO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME...
you whine...

To yourself of course, cause you wouldn't want 
ol Ebeneezer to get suspicious that all you are REALLY doing is making paper airplanes...
OUT OF your assigned task, in the hopes that 
if it's GONE, nobody will notice and you 
might even get to go home EARLY...
PAID of course...

and you look at your boss again 

and get that feeling in the pit of your stomach 
that you are DOOMED.

It's 2pm and you are PRAYING 
for a power outage or a tornado 

or ANYTHING that would close the...  

office/plant/hospital/clinic/university/mall.

YOU WANT A LANDING BY ALIENS 
IN THE CAFETERIA SOOO BAD...

And IMMEDIATELY begin to make 
paper space ships. 

Hell, 
it might even make for a FUN WEEKEND...

if all those things you have heard about 
alien abductions 

and sex and...

A FLASH FLOOD...
A TIDAL WAVE 
(although being over 3500 miles 
from the nearest ocean hasn't crossed 
your temporal lobe yet...
BUT IT WILL...
leading to MORE despair...)

As the time DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGS 
on...
and on...
and on...

2:31pm and your knees are vibrating.

2:45pm and your Fannie is asleep 
and when you try to stand up...

You realize your legs are too 
and you CRUMPLE...

OH GOOD...MEDIC...YOO HOO...

But 242 co-workers come to your aid, 
getting you to your feet...

and assuring you that everything is FINE...
and your attempts to dispute that 
CAUSE IT'S FRIDAY are all for naught.

PFUI

2:50pm and you are ONCE AGAIN 
back in purgatory (your seat)...

and trying desperately to look nonchalant 
as you plot mayhem and chaos during which 
you figure you can make your escape...
UNTIL MONDAY...

Monday...GEEZ...
DON'T EVEN JOKE about that.

MONDAY is SOO Far away...and...

(you look at the clock and so is quitting time)

3:00pm. TWO HOURS....
I'LL NEVER MAKE IT, 
you opine and sneak a peek to see if 
you might make it to the clock 
THIS time...

but 37,286 people have been assigned to 
WATCH YOU...

To make sure you 
LEAVE THE CLOCK ALONE...

PFUI

It is now 3:10pm and you have managed to 
make it THIS far WITHOUT doing 
ONE DAMN THING of consequence 

ALL DAY. 

Except drive yourself and 
everyone around you INSANE.

You are thinking about all the plans you have 
for the weekend 

 (NONE...
but it's only FRIIIIIIIIDAY), 

and eventually you nod off.

Suddenly someone is shaking you.

HEY SLEEPYHEAD.. QUITTING TIME...

YOU GONNA WORK ALL WEEKEND?

Uh..

HELL NO. I DIDN'T EVEN WORK TODAY...

(although the less people who hear THAT 
the BETTER).

And you RACE to the timeclock 
and actually KISS IT as you begin to head 
for the door..,.

And JUST before you hear..

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH...._______________

Would you come here a minute?

OH SHIT

OVERTIME

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

#$*%(#$&*S%()S$#&*S(#$

Yes, and for the weekend and YOU are SOO screwed.

$#*#$()S*&S(&#()(&()&*)&(&$